This week has been full on busy compared to the last, mainly because I am now back at work! And because I’ve learnt all of the below…
1. 11 weeks might as well have been 11 months! After a day in the office I felt like I’d missed so much and had way too many questions that nobody had time to answer. A week later and in some ways it feels like nothing has changed while I’ve been away but I still best get my head down and catch up quick. (I’ve written a post about going back here).
2. Now I’m back at work I need to balance being a working mum/wife again and now a blogger too! I’m really enjoying writing and I want to build up an audience but I recognise the time I have has now reduced and will reduce even more when back working fully. To try and make life easier I downloaded Hootsuite this week and will be trying to schedule more tweets, and hopefully write blog posts to publish at a later date.
3. My bruv-in-law’s birthday is on steak and blowjob day! I was aware this day existed but couldn’t have told you the actual date. I now know it is the 14 March which also happens to be Mr L’s little brothers birthday. I wonder whether he knows?!?
4. Little miss got into a fight! When I arrived at nursery last week I was asked to read and sign an incident form explaining little miss had been in a dispute with another kid and was now sporting a nasty scratch on her face. I was horrified to learn G had started it but relieved that the other kid was alright and unmarked. We’ve since had a few outbursts over this weekend that have even resulted in Mr L feeling the need to give her a telling off and I’m seriously hoping we can nip any issues in the bud before I have to start keeping her away from everyone.
5. I’m pretty sure Mr L doesn’t realise how much I actually do! I was hoping my being incapacitated from doing most things around the house, doing the food shopping and running around after Miss G would make Mr L realise how much I actually do but instead this week he complained to relatives about not having any clothes to wear because I never do any washing. I wanted to punch him. Needless to say he put his own washing in yesterday and was left to dry it too!! I’m on strike.
6. Shopping with a toddler is now no fun! Shopping with a husband and toddler is even less fun! Little Miss now insists on walking everywhere we go, and despite having ‘reins’ walking translates to running off at every opportunity and touching everything in sight. Although you are saved from having to take chase as Miss G tries to give you the slip, the end result when shopping with both is a screaming child and a very very cheesed off husband (he was already cheesed off about shopping in the first place). It is also always the case that Mr L and little miss walk away with bags of purchases while you give up , admit defeat and order everyone back to the car. Instead of enjoying some retail therapy you feel like you need therapy just to get over the trip. Needless to say I made a hasty purchase in desperation and will now have to endure another visit to the shops to take it back.
7. Next Mothers Day I am going away! With the mother in laws birthday Friday, brother in laws Saturday, and Mothers Day Sunday, presents to think of and buy from little miss as well as from me/Mr L by Sunday I was exhausted. I realise Mothers Day is earlier next year so everything won’t be happening all at once but still. I was lucky to get a lie in until 9.30am but then spent all morning and lunchtime being in a rush and running late for each visit we needed to make. In fairness Mothers Day this year was no different to any day really. No breakfast in bed (in fact no breakfast full stop) and a little girl who only wanted to know daddy. So next year I plan on planning it myself like last year and being somewhere with a hot tub.
After 11 weeks to do as I please (which was hardly anything because of the foot!) this week I got the call to say I was no longer regarded as a health and safety risk and I could go back to work! My first reaction was to yell yippee, then I had a sit down, thought about it and seriously wished it wasn’t happening.
I’d settled into a nice new routine and was enjoying the time to myself and increased time with Georgia and I didn’t like the idea of that changing. In my head I work part time because I have Thursday at home but in reality that’s a 30 hour (usually more) week, in a very busy, often pressured environment. I looked around the house and saw mess and began to panic when I was ever going to have chance to tidy or clean. Don’t get me wrong I refuse to bust a gut trying to keep our home clean and tidy each day because I get so frustrated when its dirty and messy again within hours (Mr L is a plasterer so dust follows him and he is not a tidy person!) but working again would mean I’d have to spend my day off at home armed with a duster and vacuum and not having fun with little miss. Instead of always eating after 9pm, we’ve been able to sit as a family even if little miss barely ate anything we were all together with food in front of us.
There was a list of things I’d wanted to do whilst I was at home. Books I’d not managed to read yet, a jigsaw still in the wrapper. Not to mention the spare ‘bedroom’, piled high with boxes and our old bed propped against the wall. I’d thought about selling my wedding dress but hadn’t gotten any further than thinking about it.
And what about my blog! I was just starting out and needed to be home, reading, writing, sharing. Working on getting new followers and likes on social media. How was I going to fit everything in when I was back at work.
Then I thought about seeing my friends at work and how much I had missed the conversations we had and the burden they may have faced. Although I work closely with other colleagues I am the only person doing the job I do and I take pride in that, I feel a sense of responsibility and didn’t like that my being away would add to anybody else’s already overflowing to do list.
This time last year I was returning to work after 11 months maternity leave and although it was hard leaving little miss in the very capable hands of Grandma and Grandad L, I had looked forward to being Kelly again. Within months of being back I took a promotion and added another couple of hours to the working week. The guilt of being a working mum now hits me in waves. When I had to change my days and put Georgia in nursery 1 morning a week I felt like the worst person in the world. She hated it for the first 2 months and cried throughout her time there and it was all my fault for working Fridays. When I’m late home from work, or when I have to drop her off super early I feel bad for Georgia and her grandparents.
I then look at the person little miss is and although I would love to be a SAHM I also know I’m not that type of mum and I doubt she would have the personality she has and do all the things she does if I was home each day. I don’t (can’t) bake, I’m not particularly artistic either. I took her to every baby and toddler group in our village when I was on maternity but only because Grandma L took Georgia’s cousin too. I didn’t feel comfortable with the cliques and struggled to make conversation with the other mums. She has made friends at nursery and has a fantastic relationship with all her grandparents and her cousins.
So after agreeing to go back on short 5 hour days for the immediate future, I am now determined to better juggle being Kelly/Mummy/Wife, making the most of my time with Georgia, looking after our home and working in 2015 and beyond. So don’t be surprised if you see Mr L armed with the duster or vacuum, or me not listening when he says I’ll have to cut back on the blog he he