As 15th March approaches and brings with it my second Mothers Day, I thought I would reflect on the first one last year.
I remember being super annoyed that Mr L had already enjoyed his first Fathers Day way back when Georgia was less than 2 months old and I’d had to wait until she was almost 11 months but I was also super excited. By early February I was already thinking about what we should do to mark the day, I was conscious that we also paid homage to our own fantastic mums and that my mum enjoyed her first Mothers Day as a Grandma too.
After speaking to my mum we decided to spend the morning, weather permitting, going for a walk round Oakwell Hall Country Park. This meant we could take the dog, enjoy an ice cream and get some fresh air before further celebrations in the afternoon. As a special treat since it was ‘my day’ and after asking for 5 months, Mr L finally let me carry Georgia in the baby carrier (he always argued it was too much hassle changing all the straps so it fit me and that as she got bigger he was saving me from back ache). As daft as it sounds I was so proud to have her strapped to me and was determined to make it through the whole morning without proving him right.
In typical ‘Brockman’ style the morning was always going to go downhill literally! Faced with the option of using steps from the hall back to the field area, or a grass slope we chose the slope naturally. With my precious cargo I was very careful to go slowly, with Neil by my side just in case. Mum on the other hand was left to fend for herself and before we knew it there was a thud, and we all turned round to find her sat on the muddy grass in fits of laughter with Buster (the family dog) starring at her. Cue us all bursting out in fits of laughter too.
For the afternoon I wanted to try and get both families together to celebrate so I floated the idea amongst everybody. Before I knew it there was the 3 of us, my parents and sister, Mr L’s parents, his brother, sister-in-law and 3 children and her mum and sister all on board so I booked a table for 15 at a local Italian restaurant. We enjoyed delicious food and had plenty of laughs, in particular about the morning events, which by this time had gone viral around our wider family.
I’ll admit I’ve given less thought to how to mark the day this year. Over the last year theres been lots of special days and I feel very lucky to be a mummy. Having Georgia has made me appreciate my own mummy even more, so I’ll let her choose what we do, as long as it doesn’t involve slopes or mud. Thanks for reading x
Mr L and I enjoyed some adult time on Saturday with family and we were able to leave Georgia in the hands of Grandma and Grandad L for the day/night. I consider us very lucky to both have parents who are very ‘hands on’ when it comes to little miss, which means I can work and we get a great balance of family time and mummy/daddy time.
While out I was asked whether I was worried about Georgia and without hesitation I was able to say no. Being worried about Georgia when she’s not in my care is an emotion I’ve never had. Instead I explained I worried more about her behaving and not causing any trouble for whoever was caring for her. I want whoever spends time with her to get as much joy and enjoyment as I get being with her (without any toddler tantrums). Whether that be grandparent, auntie, uncle, godparent or friend.
From her being a tiny baby its always been that way. She first ‘slept out’ at my mum and dads when she was 2 weeks old and as new parents we seized the opportunity to get some much needed sleep. At no point did I worry about Georgia. I worried how my parents would feel having broken sleep and having to deal with night feeds almost 30 years after their own children, I worried whether her crying would disturb my sister, the neighbours or upset the dog. When thinking about Georgia the only thing I did do was miss her, I wanted to know everything she was doing and when so I still felt involved.
Having been asked the question on Saturday, I’ve thought about why I don’t worry about her, and wondered whether I should. Was I being irresponsible by not, was I being naïve as a new mum. I know many mummies who wouldn’t dream of letting their child sleep out at 12 months let alone 2 weeks but I’d had no difficulty…did that make me a ‘bad’ mum. Without hesitation I find myself saying no again. I’ve realised over the weekend I don’t worry about Georgia in this way because there is no need. I may have no problem entrusting somebody else to look after my little girl, but that doesn’t mean anybody can do it. Since finding out I was pregnant she has been the most precious thing in my life and I know I would only leave her if I was totally certain. I don’t doubt somebody else can look after her as well if not better than me and they often do. I also like to think being ‘passed around’ has helped make her the sociable, outgoing little girl she is. These days I still miss her, but I enjoy the time to be Kelly too and feel very fortunate I can have both. She’ll hopefully always need her mummy, but its ok if she wants, grandma, grandad, auntie, uncle, godparent or friend too!
Since before Christmas, Georgia has been all about Daddy. She calls his name at night when she wakes up, she asks for him as soon as she gets up on a morning. She only wants Daddy to pick her up and she only wants to give/get cuddles and kisses from Daddy. Whenever he leaves a room and doesn’t take her with him she screams and cries and when I ask her who loves Georgia, she says Daddy. Her face lights up and she gets so excited when he comes home from work, or collects her from Grandma and Grandad’s and if I’m with him I barely get a look and she pushes past me to get to him. Daddy has also been looking after Georgia more than ever since my accident and I worry all this will be reinforced by him doing nearly everything.
I’ve scoured the internet and read numerous articles online that all suggest this is a phase, but its definitely made the last couple of months even more difficult and left me feeling more useless and helpless as a mum. Its also added to the pressure Mr L has felt under to take care of us, the house and work full time. Most articles suggested we should continue to carry on as normal and not let Georgia dictate who did what and when, but there has been certain things I couldn’t do. Bedtime has always been ‘Mummy and Georgia’ time, we’d have a story and snuggles in her chair and I’d lift her into her cot and wait in her room until she fell asleep. I suddenly wasn’t able to walk without crutches so couldn’t carry or get her into bed and as soon as Daddy got involved I wasn’t needed or wanted.
As I slowly find my feet again I’ve been able to get more involved and on occasion now she will shout out for Daddy and Mummy but she is still definitely a Daddy’s Girl and although I love the bond they have, I’m looking forward to more ‘Mummy and Georgia’ time in the future.
I’d love to say that every day was like Valentines Day in our house but I’d be lying! As it happens Mr L and I don’t really bother with it, we do cards and might have a takeaway. Even for our first Valentines together we booked a table for a nice meal out and then let his mum and dad use it.
This year however my lovely hubby has decided he will take me out for a romantic meal to celebrate…tonight! He’s booked a table at Blackhouse, The Grill on the Square in Leeds and as a member we’ll get 20% off our food. I’m also told he’ll be giving me my card today too and we aren’t doing presents. The big question for me is which card will he give me seen as I know he bought one from Asda weeks ago, forgot he’d bought it and bought another from Morrisons this week. He found the first card when he went to hide the second. I’m shaking my head typing this!! I’ve knowingly bought him two cards though because they were both too perfect and I couldn’t resist getting him a card from Georgia too, so technically that makes 3. I bought mine from two great pages on Facebook and can’t wait to see his face when he opens them. I also found this gorgeous heart decoration on another page and think I may have to order it for myself.
(This is also available as a Mother’s Day card from Carly’s Crafts)
I would have liked to buy Mr L a present this year to acknowledge how great he’s been and how much he’s done while I’ve been ‘healing’ so to speak, the problem is he is impossible to buy for. Every year I struggle when it comes to his birthday or Christmas and now I have to come up with presents from Georgia too, as well as Fathers Day to think about. He always says he doesn’t want anything or to buy aftershave, which I can’t do all the time! If you’ve any ideas feel free to pass them on.
Little miss has been getting in on Valentines Day too and came home yesterday with a decorated heart she’d done at toddler group, not sure which one, she goes to that many, but it now has pride of place on the fridge. I know she’s had help from Grandma whenever she brings something home but it doesn’t take away from the feeling I get inside and watching her come marching in waving whatever her latest creation is melts my heart, even when I realise she has left a trail of sequins and glitter…thanks for reading x
My name is Kelly and I’m a 32 year old married mum of 1 from Leeds! My daughter Georgia will be 2 in April and every day she teaches me something different and I see her do something new. I slipped down the stairs at home on Boxing Day and fractured my heel and have spent alot of the last 6 weeks at home reading other people’s blogs and entering competitions on the new tablet my hubby bought me for Christmas (I actually researched, went to the shop and bought the tablet with my money but he assures me he will be paying me back…at some point). I loved reading about other mum’s experiences and thoughts and this made me want to start writing. Hopefully some people will enjoy reading what I have to say too. Me and my family…hello!
Linkys: All About You